Lost in thoughts....

I may be faking out my real life, but its true that, its the memories of my lost love which keeps my life going on and it happens with me most of the times, that i get fully involved with memories of her, to such an extent that, i just cant think of anything going around. I just keep myself away from all the social networking or messaging or even any interaction with the outside world  just to leave me alone with thoughts of her. The only exception here is that i am blogging all this now the very moment....coz don't know why, i feel like talking with her itself while doing so....

                 It has been years since i have even heard her voice, but still i can feel that voice very lively inside me, making me feel her togetherness, her presence in everything i do; right from the beginning of the day when she used to wish me and wake up, being with me all through the day sharing all the fun and sadness, till the end of the day when she used to wish me a sweet sleep and sure i slept in thoughts of her....

             There are days when i badly wish to meet her, hear her voice, spent few moments with her, make my life meaningful....a hopeless dream as of concerned now....since all decisions of parting were taken by me only and not her in the end, and it is the biggest mistake i have done in my life. Still i feel like it have helped her to live, on her own and succeed in life and also to her family as i am no longer their problem. But leaving me  back, with deep pain inside the heart, with the memories of the sweet moments we had spent in those 7 years of love as my only companion now. Still i know that its nothing more than the pain i have caused her bcoz of our parting...i dont know how to apologize....

Yes, i am lost in thoughts of her....missing her very badly more and more as time pass on....still i believe like one day she will be mine....before i leave this lonely world....

My eyes are wet while typing all these, and also the days when i miss her so badly....even then i love these days more than anything..just bcoz she still lives inside me....as my soul itself....

PS: The lyrics of the song "Stay" from "Sash" really express what i feel every moment

   

" I had a dream last night
You were there
You held my hand so tight
I thought I'd just die
Do you remember?
When we use to have
So much fun
I used to cry sometimes
Those days are gone
Did you remember? "



 
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Video Link : Sash - Stay